IRREVERENT AS IT MAY SEEM, after 15 months of diagnostics and 10 months of chemo treatments for Myeloma I’ve invented a new parlor game for my own amusement.

I call it “SoS” and it’s about guessing the underlying causes of a host of consequences I have experienced since my Myeloma saga began. Symptom? Side-Effect? Sometimes it’s not easy to tell. What follows may seem a little sardonic, but please trust me, none of these issues have been more than I (or anyone) can tolerate. They can also be a little funny at times  (at least to me):

Hiccups: Triggered, I think, by dexamethasone, the steroid medication I had been taking each week. The dose is large and it can cause indigestion. Initially I had bouts of double and triple-hics that could last all day or longer. Hi-friggin-larious! My gut has grown more tolerant, and I find a Prilosec on Dex day can help immensely. Verdict: Side-Effect.

Wakefulness: Among other effects, dexamethasone acts like a stimulant that can keep you awake, with mind racing, when you know you need to sleep. Verdict: Side-Effect.

Talkativeness: Whoa brother, I just can’t shut up when the Dex is working. I guess the drug tends to amplify my essential nature. (Extra amusing when interrupted by double-hics.) Verdict: Side-Effect plus personality.

Fatigue:  I’m sure I’m tired from the illness sometimes, but this is also due to the energy it takes to metabolize the medications. My oral Myeloma super-med, Revlimid, is mildly sedating, at least for me. So I take it before bedtime. My weekly Dex dose lets me down after a couple of days, after robbing me of some sleep hours. Verdict: Most likely an S and S situation.

Nosebleeds: A fairly common consequence of the Myeloma itself. Possibly made worse by my secondary Polycythemia (but that’s my theory, not the doctors’). These were not big, but they became nearly a daily occurrence  for a while until the chemo took hold. Now they seem to have abated. Verdict: Symptom.

Headaches: A daily experience for some months during the run-up to my initial diagnosis. Not of the migraine variety, but annoying enough. They abated entirely following the first couple of weeks’ treatment for Polycythemia, which were intended to counter excess blood thickness. I haven’t taken an ibuprofen tablet since. Verdict: Symptom.

Loss of taste: Not that I had a great deal to begin with… But seriously folks — the meds seemed to blunt my ability to taste food, wine, coffee. My first Myeloma miracle drug — Velcade — caused a kind of metallic taste that made even plain water taste bad. It’s much better now and a little hot sauce can make a world of difference. Verdict: Side-Effect.

Weight gain: Blame the Dex again. Steroids will do that to you by creating what I call “the false hunger”. Combine that with loss of taste and you have a formula for overeating. I’m up nearly 20 lbs. this year. I must also confess to a reduction in physical activity, which means I’ve been burning fewer calories too. A return to regular hiking should help this situation. Or, a larger pants size. Verdict: Side-Effect, exacerbated by lifestyle changes.

The clumsies:  At various moments during my medication cycles, I have noticed a feeling of shakiness, not visible to others. On those days, keys and pens drop more often and the breakables tend to fly. My recent track record includes a number of tumblers and dinner plates in the kitchen, but fortunately no serious cuts or bruises. Verdict: Yeah sure, that’s a medical term!

Now that I have enumerated all of this, I realize readers might perceive it as a litany of complaints. That was not my intention. I’m not seeking sympathy. (And believe me, this is not even close to a comprehensive list!)

I do hope this post demystifies the experience a little bit, particularly for my newly-diagnosed friends who have attended our Myeloma Patient Support Group. For friends and family who worry, be assured — naming these aloud robs them of any power over me.

Next: In the Bag

© 2014 James Tenser